Almost Lost, Never Forgotten Read online

  ALMOST LOST

  Never Forgotten

  Book #1, never forgotten series

  T.L. Sieving

  Copyright © 2013 Traci Sieving

  Published by T.L. Sieving

  Edited by Katy Weber

  2013 Edition

  ISBN tbd

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any other means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recorded, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events or locales in entirely coincidental.

  This eBook is available in print from Amazon.

  This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to the appropriate retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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  Print cover formatted by Kellie Dennis, Book Cover By Design

  Acknowledgements

  I never would have been able to sit down and write if it weren’t for the encouragements of my family members. My husband and children I thank you for occasionally giving me quiet time! Thanks to my mom who never stopped telling me how proud she was even though she has no idea what is in this book, yet. And thanks to my sister who is pretending to have an interest in reading so she can get a copy of this. My brother probably has no idea I even know how to write!

  I have the absolute best writing BFFs in the world, thank you Tyf and Trisha for being the first people to read this book and for fighting over which man you loved more. Thank you for pushing me so hard and stopping me from going over the edge hundreds of times. I am so lucky to have you ladies.

  Thank you to my fantastic Beta’s, #thisishappening beta team. I was not always great at getting you the next chapters and I know we struggled with many parts. Margaret without you I wouldn’t be publishing this yet. You helped me really work through it and I appreciate you so much. Crystal thank you for reminding me to send you more, I loved your edits and how much you loved the story. Jenn thank you for keeping me as a writer and giving me such good flow notes. AND thank you Katy for editing the crapola out of this book. You were a savior and I am so glad I found you in the row with brownies.

  To all my friends and family who have asked for a copy already, thank you for supporting me. Your words of encouragement are greatly appreciated. You will never know how much a little push helps.

  To all the readers that will read this, thank you. I had this story in my head forever and I am so glad it is out. I hated ending it but Sam and Jax are talking to me about the next book and Ana wants one too. The never forgotten series is planned to be a three part series and all the books will be out by March, 2014.

  Part 1

  I almost lost who I was, but thankfully I’ll never forget the lessons I learned.

  Chapter 1

  As I stand here looking at myself in the mirror, over-drying my thick long dark hair, I replay the past 18 years of my life and everything that has led me to this day, the day I finally leave for college.

  My reflection shows someone refreshed, confident, well rested and even beautiful – absolutely nothing of what I perceive of myself at this moment. I stick to my normal routine of drying my hair, using my straightener to take out the natural waves and end with some face lotion. I never wear any makeup, but then again I’m only 18 and my boyfriend always told me he loved my natural beauty.

  I leave the bathroom and mentally chant ‘I can do this. I can do this.’ before walking through my childhood bedroom, down the stairs, and out the front door. My bags are packed and loaded. The only thing missing from the car is me.

  The car door shuts and we drive down my street, the same way I've done for so many years but this time there's no curfew or immediate plan to return. My emotions are holding up better than I expected. I’m keeping it together and not crying – that is until we get on the highway and the decision I made is no longer a plan. It’s reality.

  I’m expected to move into a dorm this morning at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, which is only 25 miles from where I grew up. As we get on the highway we’re not headed toward Ann Arbor, we’re going east toward New York City. I had a last-minute change of plans when both my best friend and my boyfriend of 12 years broke my heart. Instead of attending UofM I’m moving to New York City and attending NYU.

  Chase and I grew up together and I thought we were going to last forever. Not just a lifetime, but forever. We were only kindergarteners when we met, but we clicked immediately. I discovered what it felt like for a boy to notice me at only 6 years old. He was the first and only boy I ever liked. There was something about the way that Chase Perri looked at me and cared for me that set the standard of how I’d always want to be treated.

  Of course my best friend Alexis Martin didn’t treat me the same way, but we were complete opposites which I thought made us so compatible. Lexie, as I call her, has always been a little catty. I don’t blame her for it. She always caught the attention of older boys in school and the girls never liked that. Lexie is beautiful. She’s blond, super skinny, and looks like a model (something her parents wouldn’t ever let her try).

  Lexie and I met in preschool. Our parents instantly had a connection and we used to be able to play at the playground for hours after school. We had this unbreakable bond until halfway through high school when she caused some drama that ended our friendship.

  It was our sophomore year when Chase and I had our first fight and Lexie was behind it. I remember I was in 4th hour, and was taking a quiz. Lexie leans toward me and says, “I’m sorry.”

  I whisper back, “Yeah, ok.” Was she copying off of me?

  “Chase and I have been hooking up.” Lexie whispers.

  “Chase who?” Not for a minute would I even consider my boyfriend, Chase Perri, cheating on me. Not because I’m naïve, I know people cheat, but I trust Chase completely.

  “Your Chase!” Lexie insisted.

  When the bell rang signaling the end of the class she sprung out of her seat and got right in my face.

  “We've been hooking up all year, he told me he’s always had these feelings for me and even you can see it. We want to be together but he’s afraid of hurting you. He doesn’t like you anymore. You always do what’s right so just let him go.”

  Chase was in our class, but paid us no attention until Lexie’s tone caught him and he came to ask if everything was ok.

  Before I could speak Lexie shouted out, “I just told her Chase, don’t worry it will be fine!”

  Chase asked her if she told me about the conversation they had in art class and Lexie told him “yes.” I couldn’t believe my ears. I quickly excused myself and walked out. If Chase didn’t just confirm that it was true I wouldn't have believed it and I didn’t want to listen to this any longer.

  I was shaking, I'd never been so mad before, ever! I heard Chase yell, “Lucy!” but thankfully he got caught by a teacher who needed to discuss tutoring schedules so I was in the clear.

  I walked straight to the office and tried to call my mom. I needed her to excuse me for the day so I could leave, but I kept getting her voicemail. I sat in the office for another hour still without tears, just anger.
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  Lexie was my best friend. I’ve known her since preschool. Chase was my other half, my best friend, my boyfriend, the one I thought I could always count on. Well, that’s what Chase was. I mentally pushed this aside, held my head up high, and walked to my next class. I missed my 5th hour, but I could still make it to 6th.

  Chase saw me walking to class and dragged me into an empty classroom. “That totally freaked you out? I’m so sorry.” he said, looking like he may cry.

  “What are you sorry about Chase?” I’m using my bitchiest tone, one I never used with him.

  “I never should've asked Lexie for advice on how to tell you.”

  “Tell me what Chase?” I was shaking again and tears were threatening. ‘Oh God, please don’t let me break down here,’ I thought. Chase moved in really close and wrapped his arms around me. For one last time I wanted to let him hold me and breathe him in.

  “Tell you that I love you Luciana Jane Stevens.” he said in the sexiest voice he’d ever used with me.

  “What?” I whispered. I wanted to make sure I heard him correctly.

  “I love you Lucy, I love you.”

  We have been together since kindergarten, but we'd never said those words before. We never tried to be more grown up than we thought we were and our parents did everything they could to make sure we knew proper boundaries.

  “But… But…,” was all I could say. I was shaking as a plethora of emotions flooded through me.

  “Lucy, I don’t mean to rush us… I’d wait 10 more years to tell you if that’s what you wanted.”

  I decide to just lay it all out and be honest and tell him what Lexie had told me in math class. I wasn’t trying to kill our moment, but I needed to tell him exactly what was going on.

  “Did you believe her?” Chase asks, looking defeated.

  “I didn’t believe it until you asked her if she told me ‘the’ secret and she said yes,” I told him, but quickly added, “I love you too, Chase.”

  How could Lexie have made this up? I had no idea what could make her want to hurt me or Chase. I’ve known her forever and shared every bit of my life with her up to that point.

  “I love you too, Lucy.” he said with a giant smile on his face.

  The moment was not lost - the moment is one I’ll remember forever. He kissed me and I didn’t want to let him go.

  After that Lexie didn’t want to be my friend anymore. She stopped talking to me and if she wasn’t going to apologize to us then I wasn’t going to try to talk to her. The thing that hurt the most was being betrayed by such a close friend. Someone I trusted so much. After that, we went two years without talking.

  Although she tossed our friendship away so easily, I eventually gave it another chance during our senior year. Lexie finally apologized and seemed very sad about what had happened between us. I would’ve accepted her apology and been cordial, but I really didn’t expect to be friends with her again.

  It wasn’t until she further explained the situation and how she was jealous of me that I reconsidered our friendship. I couldn’t believe that Lexie, of all people, would be jealous of me. She’s easily 5’10 and has a model’s body. I’m barely 5’2 and at 88 pounds I could pass for being 13 years old. Not much to be jealous of in my mind!

  When I asked her what she meant by her statement ‘you always do what’s right,’ and she told me she was referring to how everyone always told her that I was the ‘nice one’ and that the only thing ‘nice’ about her was me.

  What really surprised me was when she told me she had a crush on Chase at the time and was just tired of me having it all.

  I never knew I had a competition with Lexie, or that she could be jealous of me. I was sad that she felt threatened by me and that she let it play into her insecurities.

  Since she was so honest and open with me, I thought she deserved another chance after she promised that something like that would never happen again.

  Chapter 2

  We finally graduated from High School and our college plans were set. Chase, Lexie and I were all going to attend the University of Michigan. Lexie and I would be rooming together and Chase won a full ride scholarship for baseball.

  I was so proud of Chase. He’s played baseball ever since I can remember and he has this love and passion for the game that you can see so clearly in him. I know with his skill he’s destined to play in the Major Leagues.

  When he was awarded the scholarship it was a no brainer in my mind that was where I would attend school. I had just one secret from Chase. I wanted to attend NYU. It was the only secret I ever kept from him.

  I had applied to a few schools, and NYU was one of them. When I was applying to college I also submitted for some summer internships for writing since I plan on obtaining a degree in journalism. My cousin Chloe goes to NYU, so when they offered me an internship in New York for 30 days in the summer I jumped on it.

  For the month of July I lived with Chloe and took writing classes at NYU. We had some of the major publications throughout New York come and do seminars and I learned more in 30 days than I ever could’ve imagined.

  Falling in love with the city and endless possibilities of what New York could offer me was easy. I also had a chance to spend a lot of time with Chloe. We’re both very focused about being in sports journalism and she introduced me to a lot of people.

  Chase and I talked every day and there was always so much to tell each other. He was already living on campus at the University of Michigan in a house with other players on the baseball team. We were both fortunate to start our college experiences a little earlier than most people.

  The house that Chase lives in is definitely a party house. It’s safe to say that they had a party going on there five out of the seven days of the week this summer. Chase and I trust each other so I didn’t worry about him cheating on me, but I did worry that he’d be more intrigued at what single life would be like while living in that house and not seeing me for a month.

  Maybe the month away made him seriously consider what it’d be like to date other people. I can’t imagine him not having girls throwing themselves at him; they always do. I should've known being in a bigger league would bring the temptation level too high. When you’re on a full scholarship for baseball you’ll get noticed fast. Especially when you've got Chase Perri looks.

  It wasn’t easy to say good-bye to Chloe and New York, but I left knowing I was about to start my real college experience at the University of Michigan with Chase and Lexie.

  It was super stressful to pack up my room and get ready to move. I couldn’t be sicker of shopping at Target or Bed Bath and Beyond, where Lexie drags me almost daily to get more stuff for our dorm room.

  She kept asking me how Chase is doing with all the new attention from girls and since it had been on my mind I decided to pass the question on to him.

  I waited a few days not wanting to bring it up while we were at his house in Ann Arbor. So when he came home and we were on a walk I took the opportunity to find out how it’s been for him.

  As we walked along the path we’d been on hundreds of times before I got enough courage and finally ask him.

  “So Chase, was this summer any more tempting than normal with all the college girls throwing themselves at you?”

  I kept facing forward not wanting to look at him, but he stopped so I stopped too. When I finally look up at him I think its guilt I’m reading on his face, but I wait for him to speak.

  “Were you tempted this summer Luciana?”

  I laugh. Seriously no, wasn’t tempted at all.

  “Not at all Chase. I just figure at some point curiosity may get to us.” I don’t know why I say us. I don’t mean us I mean him.

  We ended up standing in the same spot for an hour talking about our relationship and the future we both see with one another. I’m still not sure how we ended breaking up since we both saw the other one in our future forever. Somewhere in the middle we agreed that if ever there’s going to be a break, we sh
ould do it now.

  Two days passed and I knew I couldn’t do this. We've never had a break-up or a fight that lasted this long. I couldn’t take it any longer. I wanted to give him the space he needed, but I needed to talk to him and make sure this is what he wants because this is killing me. I miss him so much and I want him to be mine.

  It was late but I decided to drive out to Ann Arbor and talk to him. I didn’t even know if he was home, but that’s where I’d wait for him. I want him. I need him.

  When I got there I saw so many people and I thought to myself, ‘oh great, they’re having another party,’ when all I wanted to do is talk to Chase. I walked in and was shocked at what I saw. Chase on the dance floor, with Lexie. I watched as she smiled and grabbed his hand and they walked toward his room. Holy Shit! I turned and walked out and hoped to God no one saw me.

  I don’t ever want to see him with someone else. If we aren’t together then I’d have to get used to this. I can’t get over him this easily and I could never hide my feelings. I walked out of the party knowing exactly what I needed to do.

  I can’t believe the calm way in which I went home and told my mom about what happened. I’ve thought about it since I walked out of the party and I’m sure this is the right decision for me.

  I take a deep breath and tell my mom, “When I was in NYC I talked to admissions about my scholarship. It’s still offered and I’m going to accept it.”

  I’m so thankful that Chloe made me check on it while I was there ‘just in case’.

  My mom was so supportive of the decision and I’ll never forget what she said; “if that’s what you want honey then I support you. You’re doing this for you and I’m so proud of you.”

  So this is it, this is the big moving day. I make a deal with myself when I pull into the dorm parking lot; those are the last tears that Chase Perri will ever get from me. As much as I wanted to say good-bye in person to him, the pain of him saying I already lost him is unbearable and I’d rather not hear it or ever see him again.